What Have We Learned From Addiction?

                 WHAT IS DIRTY WHITE BOY?                        


Dirty White Boy is a discussion centered around Addiction, and addresses the issues, behaviors, characteristics, and commonalities inherent to Addiction, as well as and perhaps more importantly, the mis-conceptions surrounding Addicts themselves. Dirty White Boy is also the title of a book I've written recounting my life as an Addict and the events which led to my Addiction. It describes my initial flirtations with the drug-culture of the '60's, my progressive infatuation with it's Leading Lady (Heroin), and my subsequent devolution into a vile parody of a human being, a baseless creature of habit residing pathetically in my own personal Hell.

For those who see a glass "half-full" as opposed to "half-empty", it is also an optimistic narrative, emphatically illustrating that our future is not cast in stone. Rather, it is malleable; soft and pliable much like clay. Should we wish to intervene and re-evaluate just where our life is heading, our destiny can be altered; its' course diverted, then re-directed along a pathway of our choosing. This does however, require dedication; as well as determination, persistence, honesty, and above all, the desire to leave Addiction in the past. Finally, the latter portion of the book serves as a cautionary tale, pointing out that with success, also come qualities which are anathema to Recovery. For me it was arrogance I believe, which was my catalyst into Relapse. Numerous pitfalls exist in Recovery just waiting for "potential recidivists"; they pose little threat however, as long as one remains honest with oneself, and adheres to their personal set of standards.

In this forum, I would like to discuss what options lay open to an Addict once he or she seriously decides to enter into Recovery. Age is a significant factor regarding an Addict's available opportunities, as is Education, Criminal Record, Marital Status, etc. Those responding can include any factors pertinent to their situation, or none of them as they see fit. I've often heard those in Recovery claim that the system itself is designed to promote failure; in many ways I believe this statement is true. If one is on Parole he/she must secure steady, gainful employment. Following 9/11 however, those with Felony convictions have become virtually un-employable. I know this from first-hand experience. Wall-Mart extends employment to those who are mentally handicapped, a policy which I think is wonderful, but when I applied for work I was categorically rejected. How is a Parolee supposed to find a job if their record excludes them from the workforce?

Also, I would like to examine distinctive traits which might aid recovering Addicts to succeed in virtually any venue they choose. For example, any Addict worth his or her salt must be quite a bit more resourceful than the average Joe. Addicts who lack resourcefulness don't live very long. More than likely, un-resourceful users probably don't become Addicts in the first place, it's just that simple. Instead of regarding all aspects of Addiction as totally negative, try to imagine some of its' aspects as potentially useful. Resourcefulness is one example; others may be perseverance and tenacity. Often these work in concert, or in a complementary manner; each reciprocally reinforcing the other. What qualities made you particularly successful as an Addict? Can traits such as these be of aid to you in Recovery? Use your imagination; a parallax view of the "Skills" you acquired exploring the harsh and brutal world of Addiction, may provide you with an entire array of finely tuned strategies, unavailable to your fellow competing associates. You may be surprised by the wealth of "talent" you've accrued during that period of your life you formerly believed was painfully wasted in pointless desperation.